1.8s
tomorrow, but not for the reason you might think. Been feeling more misaligned and confused than I expected to be at this stage in my life. Change, whether it's good or bad, there's grief, and I think that's kind of what I felt. The same ambition that got me here is making me realize that just being here
3.7s
might think. Been feeling more
4.9s
misaligned and confused than I expected
7.2s
to be at this stage in my life. Change,
9.4s
whether it's good or bad, there's grief,
12.1s
and I think that's kind of what I felt.
13.7s
The same ambition that got me here is
15.6s
making me realize that just being here
17.3s
isn't enough. And I want more purpose, more alignment, more why. more alignment, more why. Music
19.7s
more alignment, more why.
22.3s
more alignment, more why. Music
44.0s
tomorrow, but not for the reason you might think. I'm going to go end my lease and officially move out of the city. Honestly, I was not expecting to do this either. Long story short, the subletter I had that was supposed to stay until the fall ended up falling through and I'm now in a situation where
46.0s
might think. I'm going to go end my
47.4s
lease and officially move out of the
49.2s
city. Honestly, I was not expecting to
51.8s
do this either. Long story short, the
54.4s
subletter I had that was supposed to
55.9s
stay until the fall ended up falling
57.8s
through and I'm now in a situation where
60.6s
I can't get a new subletter. So now I'm in another fork in the road. Do I keep the lease or do I end it? And I decided to end it. much to me because I've lived there for 4 years and it was the first time I lived alone. It was where I was when I
63.1s
in another fork in the road. Do I keep
65.2s
the lease or do I end it? And I decided
69.4s
to end it.
80.6s
much to me because I've lived there for
82.9s
4 years and it was the first time I
84.7s
lived alone. It was where I was when I
87.1s
initially left notion and kind of like rebuilt my life. It was where I did so much like inner healing and it was what held me when I took like the biggest risk of my life. And you know, some people asked me, is it wise of you to kind of stay such an expensive city like
89.0s
rebuilt my life. It was where I did so
91.4s
much like inner healing and it was what
93.9s
held me when I took like the biggest
95.9s
risk of my life. And you know, some
98.4s
people asked me, is it wise of you to
100.8s
kind of stay such an expensive city like
103.0s
San Francisco when you don't have income coming in? Yeah, it's not that smart. But I needed like an anchor to a place when my own life felt so uncertain and so unstable. And it was almost like my one tether to a version of a life that I voluntarily left behind. The version of
104.9s
coming in? Yeah, it's not that smart.
107.0s
But I needed like an anchor to a place
110.1s
when my own life felt so uncertain and
113.0s
so unstable. And it was almost like my
115.7s
one tether to a version of a life that I
118.8s
voluntarily left behind. The version of
121.3s
myself that is no longer me, but somehow still having access to that made me feel like psychologically safe. As I was making the decision of like, do I keep it? Do I end it? I realized that all of the benefits of me keeping it had to do with holding on to a sense of safety
124.4s
still having access to that made me feel
126.6s
like psychologically safe. As I was
128.8s
making the decision of like, do I keep
130.5s
it? Do I end it? I realized that all of
133.2s
the benefits of me keeping it had to do
135.9s
with holding on to a sense of safety
138.2s
that I no longer need anymore. Like I have outgrown that person that needed that anchor to a physical place when I've learned to anchor into myself. But then thinking of like officially letting go of that place, it made me feel like I was going more allin than I already was. And that just felt really scary, you
140.2s
have outgrown that person that needed
143.3s
that anchor to a physical place when
145.4s
I've learned to anchor into myself. But
148.0s
then thinking of like officially letting
150.2s
go of that place, it made me feel like I
152.1s
was going more allin than I already was.
154.3s
And that just felt really scary, you
156.6s
know? But then honestly, like here's what I realized. The first one was I've actually been way more productive here than I was in San Francisco and I'm finally starting to see genuine pull for kissment. And the second thing is I don't need anything external to anchor me anymore. And you know how they say
158.2s
what I realized. The first one was I've
160.3s
actually been way more productive here
162.5s
than I was in San Francisco and I'm
164.4s
finally starting to see genuine pull for
166.7s
kissment. And the second thing is I
169.0s
don't need anything external to anchor
171.5s
me anymore. And you know how they say
173.4s
like with every change whether it's good or bad there's grief. And I think that's kind of what I felt. And I think a part of me kind of just like that hey if all of this doesn't work out I still have a soft landing. I still have my place in San Francisco. But sometimes growth
175.6s
or bad there's grief. And I think that's
178.3s
kind of what I felt. And I think a part
180.1s
of me kind of just like that hey if all
182.6s
of this doesn't work out I still have a
184.5s
soft landing. I still have my place in
186.4s
San Francisco. But sometimes growth
189.2s
means cutting that tether to the things that used to be so safe for you, but it's now just kind of holding you back. So that's where I'm at right now. So real talk, I'm 6 months into my new job, and it is not exactly what I thought it would be. I've been feeling
192.7s
that used to be so safe for you, but
195.3s
it's now just kind of holding you back.
197.2s
So that's where I'm at right now.
200.2s
So real talk, I'm 6 months into my new
202.8s
job, and it is not exactly what I
205.1s
thought it would be. I've been feeling
206.6s
really conflicted because on paper, it looks like my career is headed in the right trajectory. You know, I'm a senior manager now at another tech company, and I thought making this big move would really quiet the question of what else is out there. But internally, I've been feeling more misaligned and confused
208.9s
looks like my career is headed in the
210.7s
right trajectory. You know, I'm a senior
212.7s
manager now at another tech company, and
214.9s
I thought making this big move would
216.4s
really quiet the question of what else
218.3s
is out there. But internally, I've been
220.4s
feeling more misaligned and confused
222.3s
than I expected to be at this stage in my life. It's almost like I did everything right, but it doesn't feel right. I leveled up. I changed my scope. And I moved to a company that was working on something I genuinely thought I'd be more excited about, but it hasn't brought the momentum or the clarity that
224.6s
my life. It's almost like I did
226.2s
everything right, but it doesn't feel
228.1s
right. I leveled up. I changed my scope.
230.5s
And I moved to a company that was
232.1s
working on something I genuinely thought
234.0s
I'd be more excited about, but it hasn't
235.9s
brought the momentum or the clarity that
238.1s
I was looking for. And if this isn't it, then what is? I've been trying to quiet these thoughts the past few months because they honestly just felt like complaints. And when I talked about it to my therapist, she helped me reframe it as maybe they're not complaints, but these are just the things that have been
240.6s
then what is? I've been trying to quiet
242.8s
these thoughts the past few months
244.2s
because they honestly just felt like
246.0s
complaints. And when I talked about it
247.8s
to my therapist, she helped me reframe
249.8s
it as maybe they're not complaints, but
251.9s
these are just the things that have been
253.4s
on your mind recently. And looking at it that way made me realize that it might be worth actually paying attention to. heard, and I I can't get it out of my head. Apparently, someone was asking Michelangelo how he carved this angel statue out of marble. And his answer was, I saw the angel and I carved until
255.5s
that way made me realize that it might
257.7s
be worth actually paying attention to.
270.0s
heard, and I I can't get it out of my
272.2s
head. Apparently, someone was asking
274.5s
Michelangelo how he carved this angel
277.7s
statue out of marble. And his answer
280.1s
was, I saw the angel and I carved until
282.5s
I set it free. I thought that was just like so beautiful. I drew a lot of parallels with my own process with Kismmet where in the beginning it very much looked like a slab of rock. And I think in some way it's still a little bit more marble than Angel. It's so easy
284.2s
like so beautiful. I drew a lot of
287.0s
parallels with my own process with
288.8s
Kismmet where in the beginning it very
291.0s
much looked like a slab of rock. And I
293.2s
think in some way it's still a little
294.8s
bit more marble than Angel. It's so easy
298.5s
to give yourself so much Oh, why does it still look like a rock? Why aren't you carving faster? Is there really something that you're seeing that is making you invest all this effort and time and resources into carving something that no one else can see but you? At least for me, I'm learning that
301.3s
does it still look like a rock? Why
302.9s
aren't you carving faster? Is there
304.7s
really something that you're seeing that
306.4s
is making you invest all this effort and
308.9s
time and resources into carving
311.0s
something that no one else can see but
312.8s
you? At least for me, I'm learning that
314.8s
in order to really trust that process, it comes down to like one, your own self-belief that you do certainly see something and two, it is only through the act of carving that you will ever start to see what that angel even looks like, whatever that angel represents to like, whatever that angel represents to you.
317.4s
it comes down to like one, your own
319.8s
self-belief that you do certainly see
322.3s
something and two, it is only through
325.7s
the act of carving that you will ever
328.5s
start to see what that angel even looks
331.4s
like, whatever that angel represents to
333.1s
like, whatever that angel represents to you.
335.7s
So, I guess I wanted to share that because I thought it was such a great way to think about any version of a life that you dream after that feels more like you. I'm sure you see it even though others don't. And all you have to do is carve for long enough in order for
337.4s
because I thought it was such a great
339.6s
way to think about any version of a life
342.2s
that you dream after that feels more
345.5s
like you. I'm sure you see it even
348.4s
though others don't. And all you have to
350.2s
do is carve for long enough in order for
353.0s
that vision to get even more clear and to a point undeniable. I'm not the same person I was in my early to mid20s when I felt really driven to prove myself and to make it. Back then, career was the number one priority for me and everything else came second. And that mentality did get me
355.8s
to a point undeniable.
364.9s
I'm not the same person I was in my
366.8s
early to mid20s when I felt really
369.0s
driven to prove myself and to make it.
371.2s
Back then, career was the number one
373.6s
priority for me and everything else came
376.4s
second. And that mentality did get me
378.5s
here and I'm super thankful for that. But now that I'm in the point of my career that I used to dream and chase after, the fire just doesn't feel the same anymore. Ironically, all the experiences I've had, the ones that I grew from and learned from, made me realize that I might actually be
380.6s
But now that I'm in the point of my
382.0s
career that I used to dream and chase
383.7s
after, the fire just doesn't feel the
386.2s
same anymore. Ironically, all the
388.6s
experiences I've had, the ones that I
390.9s
grew from and learned from, made me
392.9s
realize that I might actually be
394.6s
outgrowing the version of ambition that once used to fuel me. The same ambition that got me here is making me realize that just being here isn't enough. And I want more purpose, more alignment, more why. And it's almost like I need a new direction to burn in before it burns itself out. conflicts with this because my Monday
396.7s
once used to fuel me. The same ambition
399.0s
that got me here is making me realize
400.8s
that just being here isn't enough. And I
403.0s
want more purpose, more alignment, more
405.4s
why. And it's almost like I need a new
407.6s
direction to burn in before it burns
409.7s
itself out.
415.0s
conflicts with this because my Monday
416.7s
through Fridays are full with meetings, deadlines, the usual. But I still feel this pressure to do more and to use my 5 to9 to find my true calling or whatever that is. And when I'm too tired to chase that, like I usually am after work, I find myself beating myself up for not
419.2s
deadlines, the usual. But I still feel
421.3s
this pressure to do more and to use my 5
423.9s
to9 to find my true calling or whatever
426.3s
that is.
428.4s
And when I'm too tired to chase that,
429.9s
like I usually am after work, I find
432.0s
myself beating myself up for not
434.2s
starting something on the side or really optimizing this life stage that I'm in right now. burnt out and underwhelmed at the same time. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance it all and I'm still learning because sometimes I even wonder, am I overthinking it? Maybe it's overrated to expect myself to find a lot of meaning
436.5s
optimizing this life stage that I'm in
438.6s
right now.
444.2s
burnt out and underwhelmed at the same
446.2s
time. I'm still trying to figure out how
447.9s
to balance it all and I'm still learning
450.2s
because sometimes I even wonder, am I
452.6s
overthinking it? Maybe it's overrated to
454.8s
expect myself to find a lot of meaning
456.6s
in what I do. I'm not sure yet, but I'll let you know if I figure that out. carving, you know, when I first shared about kismmet, it was very much focused on the problem of like why is it so difficult to find trustworthy and accessible answers about your health? And I was essentially trying to bring
459.0s
let you know if I figure that out.
465.7s
carving, you know, when I first shared
467.3s
about kismmet, it was very much focused
469.2s
on the problem of like why is it so
471.4s
difficult to find trustworthy and
473.4s
accessible answers about your health?
475.4s
And I was essentially trying to bring
476.9s
together science and lived experiences and help you know what to do next once you have that information. And I built like two MVPs to test the idea, put it in front of real people. And my takeaways, one, my targeting was like way too broad. I was trying to help anyone that had a health question and I
479.2s
and help you know what to do next once
481.8s
you have that information. And I built
484.2s
like two MVPs to test the idea, put it
486.9s
in front of real people. And my
488.9s
takeaways, one, my targeting was like
492.0s
way too broad. I was trying to help
494.3s
anyone that had a health question and I
496.7s
realized that for most people getting answers from Chachi PT is like good enough and two I realized like I needed to lean into what AI and Chachi BT can't do as well. So with this third iteration still focus on like the same larger problem but like way more zoomed in. You
499.1s
answers from Chachi PT is like good
500.9s
enough and two I realized like I needed
503.1s
to lean into what AI and Chachi BT can't
506.6s
do as well. So with this third iteration
509.1s
still focus on like the same larger
511.0s
problem but like way more zoomed in. You
513.1s
can think about it as if Reddit and Strava had a baby for people with chronic illness. You can connect with other people's who share your symptoms and conditions, but also share your stories. But instead of oneoff snapshots or threads like you'd find on Tik Tok or Reddit, you can see someone's full care journey. So what happened before,
515.0s
Strava had a baby for people with
517.1s
chronic illness. You can connect with
519.3s
other people's who share your symptoms
521.4s
and conditions, but also share your
523.6s
stories. But instead of oneoff snapshots
526.2s
or threads like you'd find on Tik Tok or
528.6s
Reddit, you can see someone's full care
531.4s
journey. So what happened before,
533.0s
during, and after diagnosis, and I'm starting with people with endometriosis specifically. One in 10 women have endo. And it takes on average 7 to 10 years to get diagnosed. This disease is wildly underresarched, which is a reason why for this group of people, simply getting answers from chatbt or 15-minute doctor's appointments like just doesn't
535.3s
starting with people with endometriosis
537.7s
specifically. One in 10 women have endo.
541.1s
And it takes on average 7 to 10 years to
543.9s
get diagnosed. This disease is wildly
546.1s
underresarched, which is a reason why
548.2s
for this group of people, simply getting
550.6s
answers from chatbt or 15-minute
553.3s
doctor's appointments like just doesn't
555.0s
cut it. So, people end up turning to each other. And I'm betting that kismmet is the place where it not only fills the gaps at your doctor's visits, but helps you understand, okay, what do I do after the fact? What do I do once I got the diagnosis and I'm now living with this
557.2s
each other. And I'm betting that kismmet
559.2s
is the place where it not only fills the
561.2s
gaps at your doctor's visits, but helps
563.2s
you understand, okay, what do I do after
565.7s
the fact? What do I do once I got the
567.9s
diagnosis and I'm now living with this
569.9s
lifelong disease and I have to figure out how to live my life? Just this past week, I ran the cold outbound campaign, sent hundreds of DMs on like Reddit, Tik Tok. 20 of people responded, and over one in three people who did respond and see the demo not only opted in to be an
571.8s
out how to live my life? Just this past
574.2s
week, I ran the cold outbound campaign,
577.1s
sent hundreds of DMs on like Reddit, Tik
579.8s
Tok. 20 of people responded, and over
583.4s
one in three people who did respond and
586.6s
see the demo not only opted in to be an
590.3s
early tester and join the community, they contributed their stories to help seed content for Kismmet. That's like one of the biggest challenges for something like Kismmet to start is the whole network effect, right? How do you create enough like critical mass of people or content for it to actually be valuable? So, I'm essentially building
592.7s
they contributed their stories to help
595.0s
seed content for Kismmet. That's like
597.2s
one of the biggest challenges for
598.8s
something like Kismmet to start is the
600.5s
whole network effect, right? How do you
602.2s
create enough like critical mass of
604.1s
people or content for it to actually be
606.6s
valuable? So, I'm essentially building
609.0s
this community and building the product in parallel. Being a founder, it forces you to be like endlessly resourceful. So, that's why I'm so excited that Brilliant is yet again sponsoring today's video. Brilliant makes you smarter every single day with their interactive lessons, programming, math, science, AI, etc. You know, one thing I
611.2s
in parallel. Being a founder, it forces
613.7s
you to be like endlessly resourceful.
616.3s
So, that's why I'm so excited that
619.4s
Brilliant is yet again sponsoring
621.2s
today's video. Brilliant makes you
623.4s
smarter every single day with their
625.3s
interactive lessons, programming, math,
628.1s
science, AI, etc. You know, one thing I
630.4s
really appreciate is that I used to always associate learning with like route memorization because that's how we were taught at in school, but Brilliant really focuses on like helping you better problem solve and apply critical thinking skills without any of that. And what's more powerful than the knowledge compounding over time? So, Brilliant
632.2s
always associate learning with like
634.2s
route memorization because that's how we
636.2s
were taught at in school, but Brilliant
638.6s
really focuses on like helping you
640.6s
better problem solve and apply critical
643.1s
thinking skills without any of that. And
645.6s
what's more powerful than the knowledge
648.4s
compounding over time? So, Brilliant
650.6s
also makes it super easy for you to learn every single day and make it a habit literally just like on your phone. And honestly, there's like a full range of topics that you can explore to help build real skills and develop your intuition with things like math and science and programming, etc. And
652.8s
learn every single day and make it a
655.3s
habit literally just like on your phone.
657.5s
And honestly, there's like a full range
659.4s
of topics that you can explore to help
661.4s
build real skills and develop your
663.2s
intuition with things like math and
665.3s
science and programming, etc. And
667.6s
whatever subject it is, they really focus on helping you to be a better thinker and problem solver with any lesson. So, to try everything that Brilliant has to offer for a full 30 days, visit brilliant.org or scan the QR code on the screen. And you can also get a 20 off an annual subscription. So, check out Brilliant.
669.4s
focus on helping you to be a better
671.8s
thinker and problem solver with any
674.2s
lesson. So, to try everything that
675.9s
Brilliant has to offer for a full 30
678.2s
days, visit brilliant.org or scan the QR
680.9s
code on the screen. And you can also get
682.6s
a 20 off an annual subscription. So,
685.0s
check out Brilliant.
695.7s
my 5 to9 which is called ordinary tidbits and I'm hoping to share more of it through Tik Tok or maybe even Substack. As I've been navigating this new stage of feeling uncertain about what's next or what should be next, I've also been realizing that most of life is made up of ordinary moments and that
698.3s
tidbits and I'm hoping to share more of
700.2s
it through Tik Tok or maybe even
701.8s
Substack. As I've been navigating this
703.9s
new stage of feeling uncertain about
706.1s
what's next or what should be next, I've
708.4s
also been realizing that most of life is
710.8s
made up of ordinary moments and that
713.5s
it's not only normal but it's more than okay. It's actually in those small unremarkable stretches where the real growth, confusion, and clarity seems to happen for me. I want to embrace more of these moments and learn how to genuinely feel content in them. YouTube has honestly been such a helpful platform
715.4s
okay. It's actually in those small
717.9s
unremarkable stretches where the real
720.4s
growth, confusion, and clarity seems to
722.8s
happen for me. I want to embrace more of
725.3s
these moments and learn how to genuinely
727.5s
feel content in them. YouTube has
729.8s
honestly been such a helpful platform
731.8s
for me to process. And what I love most is this community that we're building with you guys throughout all these years and all these different life stages and milestones. But sometimes it is hard to only talk about my career, especially when I'm not feeling that great about it. And I want to turn the focus a
734.0s
is this community that we're building
735.8s
with you guys throughout all these years
737.7s
and all these different life stages and
739.8s
milestones. But sometimes it is hard to
742.3s
only talk about my career, especially
744.5s
when I'm not feeling that great about
745.9s
it. And I want to turn the focus a
748.2s
little bit more inward to document my own life and also the in between. I haven't had the time to fully execute yet just ID, but I'm actually heading to Paris for my company's summer shutdown and I'm hoping to spend more time on it then. And if you want to follow along, I'll leave a link in the description
750.3s
own life and also the in between. I
752.6s
haven't had the time to fully execute
754.3s
yet just ID, but I'm actually heading to
756.4s
Paris for my company's summer shutdown
758.3s
and I'm hoping to spend more time on it
760.0s
then. And if you want to follow along,
761.8s
I'll leave a link in the description
763.4s
below. Thanks so much for watching and I hope this hodgepodge of thoughts could be relatable in some way.
766.3s
hope this hodgepodge of thoughts could
768.2s
be relatable in some way.
