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view of my room. I'm sitting on the floor of my room with my small light on, so kind of vibey right now. It's Sunday night, 900 p.m. This week I was really busy, so I just wanted to have a moment to chat and give an update and share what's been on my mind cuz there has
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floor of my room with my small light on,
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so kind of vibey right now. It's Sunday
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night, 900 p.m. This week I was really
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busy, so I just wanted to have a moment
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to chat and give an update and share
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what's been on my mind cuz there has
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been a lot, as usual. I always need a mic like very close to me because I talk very quietly. And honestly, lately I've been struggling with that, not being able to project my voice in so many situations, especially in group settings. There are so many times where I'm like trying to talk, but like no one
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mic like very close to me because I talk
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very quietly. And honestly, lately I've
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been struggling with that, not being
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able to project my voice in so many
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situations, especially in group
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settings. There are so many times where
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I'm like trying to talk, but like no one
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can hear me. Yeah, a lot of um awkward situations where I try to even initiate a conversation, but then they just can't hear me. And then I know it's like a simple solution just to speak louder, but then it's just once you get to that point it's like sometimes there's like this internal battle of like, Oh my
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situations where I try to even initiate
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a conversation, but then they just can't
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hear me. And then I know it's like a
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simple solution just to speak louder,
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but then it's just once you get to that
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point it's like sometimes there's like
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this internal battle of like, Oh my
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goodness, I talk so quietly, no one can hear me. Like it just gets really negative at one point. But I know the solution is to just try again, try to speak louder, but it's just a struggle. Um hopefully some people can relate to that. A few of my friends are very
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hear me. Like it just gets really
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negative at one point. But I know the
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solution is to just try again, try to
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speak louder, but it's just a struggle.
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Um hopefully some people can relate to
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that. A few of my friends are very
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similar to me. We all relate to each other because it's so many times, even times where we are all together in a group setting where they're like trying to say something, but the other person does not hear. It it kind of sounds depressing, but like in the moment like we all relate and we kind of make it
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other because it's so many times, even
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times where we are all together in a
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group setting where they're like trying
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to say something, but the other person
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does not hear. It it kind of sounds
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depressing, but like in the moment like
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we all relate and we kind of make it
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light-hearted cuz we understand and because we like witnessed that ourselves, but it's just hard in situations where you're not with your friends and it's like a more serious situation and you're trying to speak, but then they kind of ignore you. So, those are hard, but I think if they ignore you because they couldn't hear
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because we like witnessed that
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ourselves, but it's just hard in
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situations where you're not with your
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friends and it's like a more serious
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situation and you're trying to speak,
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but then they kind of ignore you. So,
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those are hard, but I think if they
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ignore you because they couldn't hear
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you, then that means they just they literally did not hear you. And so, at that point you don't need to feel embarrassed. I got a comment recently asking about friendships and how to make good friends as an introvert. And I'm not sure if they were asking just to us like how to make good friends or if they
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literally did not hear you. And so, at
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that point you don't need to feel
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embarrassed. I got a comment recently
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asking about friendships and how to make
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good friends as an introvert. And I'm
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not sure if they were asking just to us
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like how to make good friends or if they
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were asking because in that video I showed a lot of scenes with me and my friends and they were asking like how I made those good friends. But first some background, I'm not the kind of person that makes friends on a regular basis. I don't have a crazy amount of friends and I like to keep my
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showed a lot of scenes with me and my
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friends and they were asking like how I
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made those good friends.
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But first some background, I'm not the
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kind of person that makes friends on a
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regular basis. I don't have a crazy
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amount of friends and I like to keep my
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close friends in a very small quantity. Not because I try to, it just turns out that way. I think I'm more of a private person where I can only share like deeper parts of me if I'm able to trust in someone and usually that trust is built over a lot of years for me. It's
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Not because I try to, it just turns out
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that way. I think I'm more of a private
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person where I can only share like
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deeper parts of me if I'm able to trust
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in someone and usually that trust is
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built over a lot of years for me. It's
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not like I have a system for myself. I think it's just naturally how I operate with friendships. Especially when I meet new people, I find myself being closed off not because I want to but I just like I feel so uncomfortable like telling them these like deeper parts of me and I really I don't think it's an
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think it's just naturally how I operate
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with friendships. Especially when I meet
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new people, I find myself being closed
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off not because I want to but I just
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like I feel so uncomfortable like
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telling them these like deeper parts of
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me and I really I don't think it's an
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obligation to let everyone in on all these parts of yourself. Recently I've been put in situations where I have to meet a lot of new people and I just find that I naturally have some like layers of myself I guess to protect me. Maybe it is an outcome of like previous experiences where I tried
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these parts of yourself. Recently I've
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been put in situations where I have to
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meet a lot of new people
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and I just find that I naturally have
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some like layers of myself I guess to
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protect me. Maybe it is an outcome of
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like previous experiences where I tried
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to be more open but then it was like not taken too well. I don't know. Sounds kind of sad. Maybe it is sad. But like you know, as we go through life, go through things and our brains and maybe our bodies remember certain traumas. Even if it's not like severe trauma, even small instances of feelings of hurt
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taken too well. I don't know. Sounds
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kind of sad. Maybe it is sad. But like
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you know, as we go through life, go
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through things and our brains and maybe
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our bodies remember certain traumas.
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Even if it's not like severe trauma,
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even small instances of feelings of hurt
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or even regret. I think my body and my mind remember that and so naturally I think I tend to behave a certain way when it comes to meeting new people. Let me think actually. Why am I like this? I just find it hard to be like completely myself and I think that's cuz I'm not
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mind remember that and so naturally I
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think I tend to behave a certain way
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when it comes to meeting new people. Let
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me think actually. Why am I like this? I
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just find it hard to be like completely
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myself and I think that's cuz I'm not
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able to feel fully comfortable when I'm with new people. And I think that's totally valid. There's so many times where I'm hard on myself because there's a voice that tells me I shouldn't be this way or that I should be able to be more open. All these critical thoughts, but I think really it's totally fine to
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with new people. And I think that's
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totally valid. There's so many times
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where I'm hard on myself because there's
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a voice that tells me I shouldn't be
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this way or that I should be able to be
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more open. All these critical thoughts,
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but I think really it's totally fine to
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feel awkward. It is a struggle and like I don't think anyone should criticize someone for struggling with something that's hard for them. Sometimes I wish I could be comfortable with new people. Sometimes I meet someone that I'd like. I want to get to know them. I want to be their friend. But then there's like this
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I don't think anyone should criticize
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someone for struggling with something
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that's hard for them. Sometimes I wish I
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could be comfortable with new people.
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Sometimes I meet someone that I'd like.
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I want to get to know them. I want to be
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their friend. But then there's like this
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internal battle in not being able to fully be myself. So like I become very awkward and then that just doesn't translate very well and then it's just like I have this whole moment. So it's difficult. Making friends is difficult. I don't have the answers. But to answer the question of like how I made good
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fully be myself. So like I become very
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awkward and then that just doesn't
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translate very well and then it's just
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like I have this whole moment. So it's
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difficult. Making friends is difficult.
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I don't have the answers. But to answer
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the question of like how I made good
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friends, I don't know if this answer will even be helpful. Basically the friends that I have now that I love and that I can call my close close friends are friends that I was able to get to know and develop closer relationships over the span of like 4 years. Um
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will even be helpful. Basically the
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friends that I have now that I love and
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that I can call my close close friends
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are friends that I was able to get to
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know and develop closer relationships
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over the span of like 4 years. Um
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at minimum like 2 years. And so a lot of my friends are my friends because they just like been with me for many years and I was able to build a lot of trust. And also through those years I was able to let down my fear of judgement and ultimately become comfortable to
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my friends are my friends because they
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just like been with me for many years
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and I was able to build a lot of trust.
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And also through those years I was able
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to let down my fear of judgement and
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ultimately become comfortable to
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actually be myself. Honestly, maybe for me a lot of it is like that fear of judgement of like what will this person think of me? I'm sure that's why it's so hard for me to be myself when I first meet someone because I'm just like thinking constantly. If I say something
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me a lot of it is like that fear of
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judgement of like what will this person
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think of me? I'm sure that's why it's so
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hard for me to be myself when I first
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meet someone because I'm just like
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thinking constantly. If I say something
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like how will they think of me? I do suffer from people pleasing and wanting people to like me. It's just a constant cycle in my head. Also, one thing to note, it's basically me. I'm the problem when it comes to meeting people. It's not because of them, it's not because of
338.3s
suffer from people pleasing and wanting
341.1s
people to like me. It's just a constant
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cycle in my head. Also, one thing to
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note, it's basically me. I'm the problem
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when it comes to meeting people. It's
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not because of them, it's not because of
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what they do, but it's it's me. And so, sometimes I feel guilty because when I meet someone and I feel very awkward and they sense that I'm awkward or even uncomfortable, I feel like sometimes they could think that they're the reason why I'm uncomfortable, but no, it's me. And I'm very aware of it and I just feel
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sometimes I feel guilty because when I
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meet someone and I feel very awkward and
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they sense that I'm awkward or even
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uncomfortable, I feel like sometimes
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they could think that they're the reason
362.3s
why I'm uncomfortable, but no, it's me.
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And I'm very aware of it and I just feel
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bad. I don't know if anyone will watch this who I've met recently, but like it's not you, it's me. Just want to make that clear. What was I saying? Um I Yes. So, the friends that are really close to me right now are the ones who I've been me right now are the ones who I've been with
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this who I've met recently, but like
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it's not you, it's me. Just want to make
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that clear. What was I saying? Um I Yes.
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So, the friends that are really close to
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me right now are the ones who I've been
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me right now are the ones who I've been with
379.7s
for many years. Some of them are from school, some of them are from church. Mostly those two places cuz I I don't really go anywhere else. I met a lot of my friends at school in high school and college. And I also met a lot of friends at church. There is that I think number
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school, some of them are from church.
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Mostly those two places cuz I I don't
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really go anywhere else. I met a lot of
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my friends at school in high school and
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college. And I also met a lot of friends
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at church. There is that I think number
396.3s
one to make friends, you have to be in certain situations. One discovery I've had about myself lately is that a lot of my close friends are actually from my high school years and I've just been able to maintain those relationships up until now because I see that these friendships are reliable and I'm able to
398.6s
certain situations. One discovery I've
401.0s
had about myself lately is that a lot of
403.4s
my close friends are actually from my
405.4s
high school years and I've just been
407.7s
able to maintain those relationships up
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until now because I see that these
412.1s
friendships are reliable and I'm able to
415.0s
be myself. And we are able to mutually enjoy each other's presence because we are both able to be comfortable. And then there are other layers of like our interests, our values, our humor. Not that every single thing has to align, but there has to be some categories that do align that allow the relationship to
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enjoy each other's presence because we
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are both able to be comfortable. And
422.6s
then there are other layers of like our
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interests, our values, our humor. Not
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that every single thing has to align,
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but there has to be some categories that
432.3s
do align that allow the relationship to
435.7s
continue. That's just my discovery because sometimes I wonder if my close friends will always have to be people that I've known for like four plus years. Does that have to be like the benchmark of whether this person will be close to me or not? Because honestly, I don't want that to be the case because
437.4s
because sometimes I wonder if my close
439.1s
friends will always have to be people
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that I've known for like four plus
443.6s
years. Does that have to be like the
445.6s
benchmark of whether this person will be
447.5s
close to me or not? Because honestly, I
449.3s
don't want that to be the case because
451.1s
that feels so limiting. I wish I was able to get close to a friend that I met even like last week. I just wish I was able to like know how to actually get close to people. Going back to the question of how to make good friends, I think the biggest thing for me is time,
453.0s
able to get close to a friend that I met
455.6s
even like last week. I just wish I was
458.5s
able to like know how to actually get
461.3s
close to people. Going back to the
463.2s
question of how to make good friends, I
465.3s
think the biggest thing for me is time,
467.3s
but I would love to hear about how you usually go about making friends. Are you like me where you need like a lot of time to develop a strong relationship, or are you able to quickly get close to a friend? And if so, then how? Because I would like to know how to get really close to people
469.1s
usually go about making friends. Are you
471.2s
like me where you need like a lot of
473.4s
time to develop a strong relationship,
476.1s
or are you able to quickly get close to
480.6s
a friend? And if so, then how? Because I
482.9s
would like to know
484.2s
how to get really close to people
486.6s
quickly. That is a struggle for me, but at the same time I feel like I don't need to beat myself up about that because having a friendship that has gone through a longer period of time means that it is more of a quality friendship. I would much rather have a smaller circle of friends that are very
488.4s
at the same time I feel like I don't
490.2s
need to beat myself up about that
492.7s
because having a friendship that has
495.1s
gone through a longer period of time
497.8s
means that it is more of a quality
500.1s
friendship. I would much rather have a
502.4s
smaller circle of friends that are very
504.9s
much quality friends, rather than a very large pool of friends where I'm not able to go too deeply with each one of them. I think it also makes sense because for me, I feel like I only have like a certain capacity of like myself that I can give to people. And so, because of
507.7s
large pool of friends where I'm not able
510.0s
to go too deeply with each one of them.
512.6s
I think it also makes sense because for
514.8s
me, I feel like I only have like a
517.2s
certain capacity of like myself that I
521.4s
can give to people. And so, because of
523.2s
that, I have to keep my circle of close close friends small so that I can give myself to them in a healthy way. I feel like for a lot of people, you go from like strangers to acquaintances to friends, and then close friends. Maybe there's more like labels or tiers, but I think because friendships are a process
525.9s
close friends small so that I can give
528.8s
myself to them in a healthy way. I feel
531.5s
like for a lot of people, you go from
533.4s
like strangers to acquaintances to
536.1s
friends, and then close friends. Maybe
538.3s
there's more like labels or tiers, but I
541.4s
think because friendships are a process
543.8s
from like strangers to actually getting to know them, it is inevitable for these groupings to happen. With different people, you could be at different stages of the friendship. And so, I think that is why I have these like groupings of my friends of like really close friends to just like friends. But, I also don't
545.6s
to know them, it is inevitable for these
548.2s
groupings to happen. With different
550.0s
people, you could be at different stages
552.2s
of the friendship. And so, I think that
554.4s
is why I have these like groupings of my
557.3s
friends of like really close friends to
559.4s
just like friends. But, I also don't
561.8s
want that to limit me from like saying this friend is just a friend because they're not a close friend, if that makes sense. You never know like what friends will become close friends. It is also important to try to take care of each friendship well in a healthy way. When I look at the friends that I have
564.3s
this friend is just a friend because
566.4s
they're not a close friend, if that
568.3s
makes sense. You never know like what
570.0s
friends will become close friends. It is
572.1s
also important to try to take care of
574.4s
each friendship well in a healthy way.
577.2s
When I look at the friends that I have
578.6s
now who are like the most closest to me, honestly, I would have never expected it, but that's another thing. You won't always be able to expect who is going to become a close friend. I think the bottom line is that I still need to be open to all the people that I will meet.
581.4s
honestly, I would have never expected
582.9s
it, but that's another thing. You won't
584.3s
always be able to expect who is going to
586.1s
become a close friend. I think the
588.4s
bottom line is that I still need to be
590.5s
open to all the people that I will meet.
593.0s
I need to be open to even the newer relationships that I have and be willing to invest in them even if I don't fully know the outcome of it. I will just go with the flow and see where that takes me. Would love to hear any tips you have about making friends. If you have any
595.4s
relationships that I have and be willing
598.2s
to invest in them even if I don't fully
601.3s
know the outcome of it. I will just go
603.9s
with the flow and see where that takes
606.6s
me. Would love to hear any tips you have
609.3s
about making friends. If you have any
611.7s
other questions about this topic or any other topics relating to our struggles as introverts, please let me know in the comments. Thank you for listening and I will see you soon.
615.1s
other topics relating to our struggles
618.2s
as introverts, please let me know in the
621.2s
comments. Thank you for listening and I
623.4s
will see you soon.
